Renaming behaviors

I am now through chapter 2 in the book, Raising the Spirited Child.  I am trying to identify the behaviors that my four year old exhibits that just drive me nuts.  He is defiant!  If you tell him to stop doing something he has to do it one more time.   If we put him in time out he throws a tantrum with ear splitting screams, slams his bedroom door,  and declares he hates us or that we don't love him.  He is very manipulative.

Here goes-
My son is hyper spirited.  He is stubborn focused.  He is defiant determined. 

 WOW! These are all labels that do fit him and they fit him in a positive way.